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Discerning Positive from Negative Yielding |
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Our Western cultural bias toward active control has made it difficult for many to view anything positive about the yielding mode of control. The clear distinction has not been made between negative yielding (passivity or too little control) and positive yielding (acceptance). |
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Since, as we itemized, there are so many variables of the financial markets that we can't control, we need to understand the value of the positive yielding mode; how to enter it with strength and confidence when we choose to adopt it, rather than feel even more out of control by framing it in a negative and disempowering way. |
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We can think of the active mode as having both positive and negative sides and the yielding mode as having the same. The positive side of active control would be to exert our best efforts to change those things that can be changed. The negative side would be to try and overcontrol ourselves or others, or to try and control things that just can't be controlled. |
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The yielding mode's positive side is learning to let go and accept those things that clearly are out of our control. And the negative side of this mode would be passively yielding when it is more appropriate to take assertive action, and when we feel too little control of those things of which we can actually have greater control. |
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The goal is to be able to use the positive control strategy (assertive or yielding) that is best for the situation, based on our desires, goals, and what is possible for the situation. Ideally, we want to be flexible in our ability to use both assertive and yielding modes of control and be able to get a sense of control when we are using either strategy. In addition, we want to develop an awareness of when desire for control has become excessive or misplaced. |
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We declared in Chapter 5 that we want to escape either/or thinking for the more flexible style of both/and thinking, which allows us to see how things can appear to be opposite but are actually complementary. Being able to see that both the positive, assertive mode and the positive, yielding mode are indeed complementary is an example of exercising both/and thinking. |
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Control Modes and Domains |
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We have distinguished between assertive and yielding modes of control and further divided each mode into a positive and negative form. Before presenting tools for working with each mode, we need |
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